On Music and other things

Sometimes I get into patterns of musical consumption, obsessed by single songs, single styles. These obsessions of mine are rarely short lived. Though the next obsession will come along, I get into nostalgic moods. Music is transformative. It changes the world around me into a place that is beautiful and absent of negativity or pain, where I am the person I like being and nothing else matters. Certain songs will always, I believe, take me to my happy place where nothing can touch me and I can drown in the beats.

Silly, right?

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and a lot of work. School has started up again and though things around me are the same as they were at the end of last semester, I am striving to be different, a better and more positive version of myself. The next few months are going to be killer. I had a mild panic attack on the first day of class about how on earth anyone expects me to finish all that is slated to be finished by November 11. But I think I can do it now. I listen to my music, turn it up loud enough to feel the bass in my floor and let go of the tension and anxiety, if only for a few minutes, the length of my favorite songs.

I can do this. I can read three books a week on top of regular school reading. I can write a National Register Nomination that is competent and successful. I can debate folk art without allowing myself to be limited or infuriated by others' definitions. I can rise above the negativity and frustration that surrounds so much of my daily interactions with the outside world and turn it into something better. I will stop wallowing and focusing on people and things that don't actually matter.

-B