On Marriage

Well, it's been awhile since I last updated. Big news in my life is that Ben and I finally decided it's time to get married. This past weekend, I also attended the wedding of some friends of mine from school and it got me thinking about weddings and marriage as an institution. I think it was strange for Ben that I wanted to get married. After all, we don't really support the way that marriage has been co-opted and used as a political bargaining chip. But after time of soul searching and thinking about the future, I realized that I really want to get married. Even though the institution is flawed and I hope I can keep myself from giving into the marriage industry that focuses on a single day rather than the symbol of a couple choosing to start a life together as their own entity.

Things have been really hard the past few weeks. School is stressful, social interactions are stressful, work is stressful. And since we broke the news of our engagement on facebook, I have found myself constantly thinking about weddings. I was never one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding day. In fact, I don't think I have ever really thought about it. Thinking about it overwhelms me a bit. Because I don't know what people will expect. I don't think I actually care about the wedding itself, but I don't want to be disappointing. I have a big family that will be coming to the wedding, people I don't see very often, and I want to show them a good time. I have friends that I hope will be able to come that I don't see very often as we have all scattered across the world. I want everyone to have a good time. I know, a little early to start worrying about these things.

I knew that I had somewhere I was going with this but I seem to have lost my train of thought. Basically, I am getting married. I am really excited about it. I can't wait to start the next stage of my life. Even though Ben and I have been together almost 8 years, this still feels like a big step and I can't wait.

-B