I thought it would be different

Comprehensive exam is over. Well, this round is over. I thought that I would feel great when it was done, that it would mark the end of the anxiety and self-doubt, but instead it has just made it worse. I won't find out until Wednesday whether or not I passed. I hope that I passed, but I do not feel confident about my responses. I don't know what I could have done differently, and I have spent hours and hours thinking about it in the past few days.

So I am now trying to just not think about it and focus on the fifty billion other things I still have on my plate. A group member dropped the class in which I am writing the Register nominations and didn't bother to tell me, so now I have an extra essay that I have to write, still need to get down to Nashville to conduct the interview for my Medicine paper, write a book review for Once Upon a Virus, start actually putting together my Folk Art paper... plus start thinking about exams, which are looming a month away.

I managed to squeak out some time this past week for fun reading, though. Finished the second book in the Southern Vampire series. It is so fun to read when I am not on a deadline and I don't have to worry about remembering everything. When the reading is just for fun and isn't hard to comprehend or understand. When I can lose myself in another world for a few hours. I have the new Margaret Atwood book, too, that I have started but am unsure if I will have time to finish it before I head home for Thanksgiving week. Even if I don't, that's okay. I will have time to finish it at the end of the semester, if nothing else.

And if I passed my comprehensive exam, I will have only three more classes between me and my Master's degree. I am getting so close I can taste it. I don't feel good about my exam, though. I don't know if I am meant to feel good about it or if I am even capable of feeling good about something with so much weight to it. But I am trying to be positive (or at least not soul-suckingly negative). It will be alright. I will be alright.

At the very least, it is done for now.

-B